Zero Defect: An autobiography of a software engineer Read online

  After about half an hour TC came, he asked for the tickets, and we got bit nervous. Anyway I showed mine, "General!" he exclaimed. We were unprepared and didn't know what to say. He checked all of ours tickets and frowned when he found out we all had general tickets, "Nonsense, you kids" "You have general tickets and you are travelling the AC class"

  Arnav took hold of the situation and told the TT, "We three are brother and sister, our father is unwell and we are on our way to see him"

  "Your father?"

  "Yes, he's diagnosed with leukemia"

  Leukemia! How in the name of Jesus he came with that, couldn’t he has said anything else? Something milder, perhaps.

  "Oh!" TT said, lowering his bickering tone. It worked, the shit worked! That was, I have to say, quite unexpected.

  "You should have told me earlier" TC said.

  "We thought it'd be inappropriate to take advantage of our situation. So we didn't"

  Suddenly, he changed his tone, "What do you take me for?" "An idiot?"

  "Sir, sir you are getting angry unnecessarily" Arnav said, "Here-" He slowly slid a fifty rupees note to the TC, he got even angrier, "You are trying to bribe me?"

  "No Sir" I replied, "Just asking to co-operate with us"

  "I know all your tricks, you people deliberately take general ticket and then make excuses and get into AC"

  "No, sir it’s nothing like that, we are speaking the truth" Arnav pleaded.

  "You look like a decent person among them, you come with me" He said to Ishika, who was standing mum so far.

  "Yes sir" She replied. A couple of minute later she came back alone.

  "What did he say?" Arnav asked worriedly.

  "He is asking for three thousand bucks"

  "Three thousand?" Arnav exclaims almost jumped from his seat, his eyes ready to pop out of the socket.

  "Yes, one thousand for each" She added.

  "That's a lot of money" I said.

  "He wouldn't bulge, pay the fine or settle with this, he said"

  "Damn you, it was all you Goodman idea, you moron" Arnav said losing his control. I gave him an agitated look.

  “Let’s go to a random place, on a big adventure” “…adventure my foot” He said mocking me.

  "At-least don't swear in front of her"

  "It's alright" She said, "Not your fault though, maybe we should have taken AC waiting tickets instead"

  "Now what?" I said sitting on the side berth.

  "He said he would be back at in half an hour, you gotta decide by then"

  "What's the fine?"

  "I don’t know, must be pretty steep, it's almost like we are traveling without a ticket" I added thinking.

  Tension rose, sparks flew. Arnav went for a walk and Ishika and I slid down on the LB seat we were holding, I looked out at the changing scenery, dry lands were all I could see.

  After some time Arnav came back from the walk, and told us that TC was on his way, he was checking in the last coach. Meanwhile, we were about to reach a town, signs of civilizations visible. The train then slowed down, not surprisingly, must be giving way to some superfast. I picked up the bag as soon as the train made a halt, and I told them, “I know what to do” “We are getting down on this station that was our only way out.“ I don’t know why I said that it was our only way, maybe I was getting little crazy. Ishika didn’t move from the seat and I literally pulled her by her wrist. "Come with me fast" Arnav was watching drama unfold still undecided which way he should go.

  So we got down at a random place, apparently neither of them were very happy and nor was I, but I thought on my feet and got us out of the mess. So, we walked out on the shitty tracks (quite literally) and hit the nearest road. What now was the question that lurked on our faces, and we knew the answer very well, we would have to get back to the place we started from - Mysore. So much so for our adventure. We had no clue where we were at the moment but we estimated the place would be an hour or two away, we had not gone that far from the Mysore city for sure. We asked a local from where we can board a bus and he pointed us in the direction which was not that far, we walked over to the bus stop. There were only two buses there - one going to Hosur and other going to Mysore. Without saying a word to each other or without posing any question to the conductor or driver we moved on. Soon after the bus started, a person got on to a microphone and stood near the door, he addressed us as - “hello passengers” “welcome to royal travels hope you enjoy your tour to Mysore, then he started giving introduction about Mysore, it's history – king, queen, slaves and stuff, it's culture and heritage. I looked at Arnav in wonderment, "What in the name of heaven is going on!"

  It took us more than 2.5 hours and a full Kannada movie which was playing in the video coach to reach Mysore. We assumed he'd drop us at the bus stand but instead he took us on another route. "This looked like some kind of zoo" Arnav said. "It is zoo!" I elbowed him back. Ishika was silent all the way through and I was really worried about that, she might be holding up an active volcano inside of her head for all I know, if only she was not engrossed in the movie starring a fat 45 year old hero – with moustache of-course. I did not bother her, I haven't seen her angry before and I definitely didn't intend to now.

  "What's wrong?" I asked her, she was sitting one seat ahead, she said nothing. It was that point when the guy got on the mic. again and told everyone about the zoo when I figured that this might be a - Mysore darshan bus. Gosh, disaster. Ishika suggested that we were in it already so we might as well go with it – at least for the sake of our random adventure thing. I wanted to stop but then I realized it was me who actually started this whole thing, so I shut up.

  No offence to the zoo or to the animals in it, but I had no interest in going in. Both of them however went in, I watched them from outside as they took the ticket and deposited their belonging, and then Arnav realized I was not going so he came back and handed over all the stuff to me, it certainly saved them a few bucks. Anyway, they went in and I roamed around impatiently outside, there was this giraffe that I saw from outside, it was sticking its neck out of the boundary to feast upon the leaves of the green tree, a baby giraffe was nearby too. Papa Giraffe was doing all the hard work, plucking the leaves and giving to the young one, and the young one was looking at a distance to a group who were just running around and having fun.

  I watched them for like half an hour or so, till the duo came out. I asked them how was it, they were particularly excited they just said okay. I asked them to ask me how was it. Ishika said, "What was, how was it?"

  "Just ask me" I replied. So she asked, and I replied "Amazing". She looked at me doubtfully whether I have gone crazy or lost my senses. It was they who went inside for the tour, and here I was who chose to sit outside - so boring.

  Then I told her about the live national geography channel on which I watched a beautiful documentary on the lives of giraffes. Boy, they were all envious...or maybe they pretended...to make me feel good.

  #

  "Let's just stop right here, I am in no mood of having a sodden trip of this godamn city. Let's get back to our hostel" Arnav declared.

  Ishika looked at us and then finally said something, "I don't wanna go back to that forsaken place" “Not a soul to talk to-“

  Arnav and I looked at each other, we knew we can't risk an argument with her. She started walking and we picked our sacks from the bus and followed her. We entered a small restaurant, and ate mouthful and heartful of curd rice and onion uttapam. She asked something from the guy at the counter while she paid for the lunch and we waited at the door. "Where to?" I asked.

  She took us on a five minute walk and stood still before a bus, it was a darshan bus as well, but a different one - Ooty Darshan one. Ah! finally we knew what or rather where she wanted! It was a minibus and probably we were the last passengers who replaced probably some lost passengers. We got seated on the last seat, which honestly was not great place for my bum to put on a hilly ride, but well we had no choice. It
was already around dark and it grew slightly chilly as the bus started its climb. I had drunk a lot of water in the lunch and I strongly felt like peeing but the bus just kept on going, kept on going.

  After about two hours or so or I don’t know how long they stopped for a break, I got down, they too, but I was too busy to talk to or anything, I was looking, searching for a place to get relieved. After I was done I came back and asked them if they wanted coffee I could get them, they looked at my hands and said no. The shop was at some distance a little uphill, but anyway I walked, I needed a jolt, I walked briskly. It was a small village shop just like any other you would have seen, I got my hands around the steel cup and sipped slowly – all my senses opened up at the same time, it felt like I was gonna die. I heard my name being called a couple of times I felt, the affect was hallucinogenic I guess. The guy at the little shop told me about the brew – I seriously did not know anything about coffee before and he proudly informed me that it was a product of his own plantation. I fucking loved the guy and his damn coffee.

  He said, that we don’t realize that most of these farms were taken over by the big firms, or rich farmers, who could employ hundreds or thousands, the guy told me that almost everyone in the village works in those farms, his own father too pushed him, but he never gave up, it was he thought best to work for himself, he can never find that joy being someone else’s cattle. I felt sad for the guy. And for the first time I really thought about it, what am I doing here? In the name of job and security I am letting someone else be the master of my destiny, I was merely being a puppet in someone else’s show.

  I was lost in dreams when I saw something moving in the distance, it seemed like that the bus was leaving, no! wait! it was actually leaving, I held my coffee cup tight, and I sprinted toward it half-heartedly. I knew I couldn’t reach it, I shouted but the bus didn’t slow down. And so I gave up, and enjoyed the rest of the coffee taking longer and slower sips, I was no longer just drinking it, I was actually feeling it inside me as it took turns in the tubes, the rich aroma filled my senses, I could almost see the guy working in the fields, plucking the berries. The coffee guy from the behind shouted, I slowly walked back to return his glass, he must have been terribly worried about it. "You coffee has magical affect, "One more" I said. He smiled and filled a larger glass this time. "One for me, too" said the voice behind me. I turned around to see, who it was.

  That First Date Part 2

  And so I turned around to see who it was, not so surprisingly it was Ishika, I was little surprised to be honest, she left the bus for me. "What are you doing here?" I asked her. "Well I just wanted to taste the coffee that held you back" “It must be something!” She added. Ha, ha! I laughed and gave her my cup, she took a sip without an iota of hesitation.

  For a moment I wondered whether this was real, or whether I was inside a typical mindless romantic movie where everything characters did was filtered through the lens of love and destiny. I think a reasonable guess was that she was worried about her friend with no Kannada skills getting lost in a remote Karnataka village. There wasn’t more to be interpreted here, just a platonic relationship between two individuals.

  It was getting darker and we had to move on, the coffee wallah was nice enough to help us arrange a ride, the jeep guy was going to a small village from where Ooty was not far, we had to reach ooty in time before it was completely dark. I had that in mind, when I asked him he told me that the small village was like forty five minutes away and then from there ooty at best half an hour, I felt confident, we could still make it to the bus.

  The journey was picturesque as if we were two souls splattered vividly on a colored canvas. And the memory of it was one of those that I cherished for long long time, beautiful green hills, cool wind gushing through our faces, kids running around, jumping in front of the jeep every now and then, and a thousand hues of blue decorating the skies. "Why didn't Arnav stayed back?" I asked Ishika.

  "No, Arnav said he’ll arrange a hotel or something in case we two get late"

  "Smart thinking" I replied.

  So around seven we reached, that small place, it was already quite dark not pitch dark as there was a good moonlight and stars were out there too, but still it was dark enough to make you worry if you are stuck in an unknown place. We sat on a small bench near the junction from where we could get a ride, that’s what local told us. Half an hour went by like that but we couldn't find any ride or anybody going to Ooty. I looked around for a small hotel or for an inn, but nothing, we were now completely stranded.

  "Now what?" I asked myself aloud in exasperation.

  “Maybe we should walk” Ishika said. She was a brave girl I knew, but situation demanded that we keep calm and don’t do anything irrational.

  “Nah, it’s too far away to walk at this hour of the day” She corrected herself.

  "Having some trouble?" the man put his hand on my shoulder; it was the same coffee guy, how’s that for coincidence? Immediately I felt an eerie feeling creeping in, is this guy stalking us? I looked at him mutely, in my mind I was doing all kind of calculation, probability, permutations, combinations to figure out the odds. I was just thinking and thinking and probably would have been frozen with my inner self churning itself out, if not for Ishika who judged the situation and replied,

  "Hi, there. We can't find anything to go to Ooty and there is no hotel, nothing to stay here"

  "You don't worry madam, you people are like our guests, coming to our country" I observed his face, he looked genuine, he was speaking from his heart, the reading on my BS meter displayed a zero.

  "You should come with me, my place is nearby" "Tonight you stay for us, and tomorrow you go" he added. I smiled at his usage of English, and continued to keep quiet.

  Ishika replied with a big "Yes, Thankyou for you help" I was silent, I only imagined, I imagined about drinking all the coffee I could from the pitcher he kept at his cellar in the basement.

  It was a small cottage with two rooms in the ground floor and one in the first floor, around his cottage were the gardens, the land was not much but enough for one family to survive. He and his wife served us with the excellent local food – it was much simpler, no oil and less spices, after the food they showed us the room upstairs, the problem was there was only one bed, although it was bigger but still not enough for two people, and of-course there was no couch. It was turning out to be a typical rom-com setting. Guy and girl left stranded in the middle of nowhere, helped by a stranger to get a place to stay for the night. The place is small and there is only one bed, and …

  Now I think about it, that night could have gone a million different way. We could have ended in one bed with remorse as an after-product, possibly ruining up our friendship forever. Or, the physical intimacy could have led into a bond of spiritual intimacy. Or, nothing would have happened but an awkwardness would have grown leading us to go further and further away. Or, she …

  I had to choose a path and before she could say anything, I offered myself out. "I'll go out" She watched me leave, and smiled and said, "You can sleep on the floor, it’s cold outside" I knew but I wanted to feel the air around me, I wanted the night sky to be warmth, I wanted the crickets to sing me to sleep and I wanted the birds to wake me up.

  I picked up a blanket, bedding and a pillow and somehow carried them altogether.

  “Hey where are you taking them?” She fired-off.

  “Well if I were to sleep on the floor, I need this stuff”

  “I am not sleeping on this wooden board” She said pointing to the bed which was stripped-off of its novelties.

  I took the mattress and the blanket and spread it on the porch. I'd admit my knowledge about the night sky was very limited particularly to things that I still remember from my childhood years when my grandpa used to teach me a thing or two. I observed the constellations above and tried to figure out if I could create one of my own, ah something, I need inspiration, I tried to draw a bus, and a human stick figure, a magical h
at, but nothing turned out, and my eyes slowly grew heavier, the moonlight taking me into her lap.

  I didn't see her come out I but I did notice a slight movement in the air, and as she grew closer it looked as if air has transpired herself into a human form, only an outline was there, and rest I could just see through, and then she stopped she stood there near my head, her toes brushing my hair, I couldn’t understand what it meant and why she just stood there, I thought that I heard her murmuring something, but I bet her lips did not move, maybe it just a swoosh of the air, she removed the headband and threw it on the floor, her long dark hair waved gently in the wind and then as she laid down beside me, I noticed she was wearing a white round neck tee shirt and a blue Nike lower, her neck was bare, so did her hands and feet. No jewelries, no accessories, she was just herself, pristine, as I would imagine a river just coming out of its origin.

  God I was in love with her.

  We just lied down there, the silence between us spoke in its own language, and after what it felt was a long long time she uttered “Can you imagine how big the sky is?”

  I paused for a moment and spoke thinking about the time "I remember when I was child, my nanaji gave me this challenge, I had to count to tell him the stars in the sky, I attempted to count them one by one but I lost track, I then divided the sky into small pieces, and started from one end and continued till the other, it looked all very logical but the problem was I could never reach the other end."

  I glanced at her sideways, a faint smile floated on her lips. "Imagine you and I, here forever" "Just imagine that we fall in love with this place and decide never to go back, we would help in the field, maybe these fields will be ours someday, we both will work in the plantation, I'll plough and you'll sow, and you'll pick and I'll brew, and thus toiling days and nights, barely able to manage our means, living from one day to the other.”